Toms footy jokes!

Most of them made by tom himself!

Whats the difference between Torres' career and Torres' hair?
A. His hair has highlights!

Whats the difference between a refferee and a united fan?
A. Not much , they both want Man united to win every game!


It’ll be nice for Emile when he weds Chantelle Tagoe. It’ll make a change to hear “Mrs Heskey” instead of “Heskey misses”.

Emile plans to open a pub when he retires – because he’s great at putting shots over the bar.



Robert Green faced over 100 shots in training today without conceding a goal. Tomorrow, he and Heskey will train with the rest of the squad.


Carroll 'I've just had a good idea for strengthening the team.'

Dalglish : `Good! When are you leaving?'

Man United have today released their new kit Black shirts black shorts black socks and a whistle.

A poor old Arsenal fan!
They say that pessimists see the cup as half empty, and optimists as half full
My team haven't even seen the cup !

Liverpool v Everton Preview

Merseyside pride and a place in the FA Cup final will be at stake when Liverpool and Everton rekindle their fierce rivalry at Wembley Stadium.

A semi-final showdown at the home of English football appears to have all the makings of a cup classic, with derby tensions adding extra spice to what is always a special occasion.
The decision to host the FA Cup semi-finals at Wembley has been questioned by many, but fixtures such as this deserve the grandest of stages.
Both sides will make the journey to the capital on Saturday buoyed by successful showings in their last Premier League outings.
Liverpool finally got back to winning ways at Blackburn on Tuesday and took the opportunity at Ewood Park to rest key men, meaning they have fresh legs to call upon.
Everton swept aside Sunderland, the side they saw off in the quarter-finals of the cup, at Goodison Park and are now unbeaten in their last five games in all competitions.
League form tends to go out of the window in knockout football, though, and the fact that local bragging rights have been added to the mix means anything is possible this weekend.


The Toffees have emerged victorious in the last two cup dates between the two, with replay successes earned in 2009 and 1991.
Liverpool have prevailed when it matters most, though, with all-Merseyside finals in 1986 and 1989 going the way of the Reds.
Kenny Dalglish's side have also tasted Wembley glory once already this season, with the Carling Cup tucked away in their trophy cabinet.

Keeper Issues 

Goalkeeper Brad Jones is set to make his first start since December 2010 as Liverpool prepare to turn to their third-choice shot-stopper.
The Australian comes into the side in place of suspended duo Jose Reina and Alexander Doni.
Defenders Daniel Agger and Glen Johnson are pushing for starting places having both made their comebacks from injury in the midweek win at Blackburn.
Steven Gerrard, Jose Enrique and Luis Suarez were left on the bench at Ewood Park, but they are expected to come back into Dalglish's starting XI on Saturday.

Strongest side 

Everton manager David Moyes is set to revert to his strongest line-up after resting a number of players on Easter Monday.
Defender Leighton Baines, midfielder Tim Cahill and striker Nikica Jelavic are all set to return having been left out of the squad for the 4-0 win over Sunderland.
On-loan Tottenham midfielder Steven Pienaar is cup-tied but Darron Gibson will return to the team having been an unused substitute earlier in the week.

Easter Review

No better place to start than the title race! On sunday it looked over Arsenal beat Man City 1-0 and United secured a eight point gap over city with a 2-0 win over Qpr. But then on wednesday the title race was swung back open! A Shaun Maloney goal enshured Wigan beat Man united 1-0 for the first time in their history, and with Manchester City winning 4-0 against West Brom Man uniteds lead was cut back to five points going into the weekends fixtures.

Down at the bottom over easter not many teams have picked up points on saturday the only team at the bottom to pick up a single point where Aston Villa who drew 1-1 at Anfield Wigan lost 2-1 at Chelsea Bolton lost 3-0 at home to Fulham Blackburn lost 3-0 at West Brom bottom side wolves lost 2-1 at Stoke and Qpr lost away at united.

Into midweek at the bottom and Wigan gave their Survival chances a real Boost with a unexpected victory over Man United the only other side to win where Qpr who beat Swansea 3-0 Bolton lost 2-0 to on form Newcastle a late Andy Carroll strike saw Blackburn slump to their third succesive defeat and Wolves lost 3-0 at home to Champions League hopefulls Arsenal