Monday Madness!

Naoaki Aoyama trips himself up to concede comical goal 

Naoaki Aoyama has booked a place on next Christmas's football bloopers videos, thanks to his role in a comical goal. 

The Yokohama F Marinos defender presumably intended to demonstrate how to coolly play the ball out from the back when it was knocked to him on the halfway line early in a J-League Cup match against Consadole Sapporo.  

Unfortunately for the 25-year-old, he did the opposite and managed to trip himself up as he backpedalled.Things got even worse for him, as Sapporo striker Hideo Oshima latched on to the loose ball, advanced unchallenged into the penalty area and slotted it past the goalkeeper to make it 1-0 after just six minutes. 

Cesc Fabregas does silly dance before Lionel Messi free-kick for Barcelona 

Cesc Fabregas has been caught on camera trying to pull off some extremely bizarre dance moves to distract an opposition goalkeeper as his Barcelona team-mate Lionel Messi waited to take a free-kick. 

In scenes reminiscent of former Liverpool goalkeeper Bruce Grobbelaar's famous wobbly legs, the former Arsenal midfielder claps his hands and shimmies about as he takes his place in the wall in an apparent attempt to confuse Levante keeper Gustavo Munua. 

In a video posted on YouTube set to the Benny Hill theme tune, Fabregas - who appears completely unabashed about the zany shapes he is throwing - stoops down, waves, bunny hops and even gives what can only be described as a zombie impression as Levante players seem to complain. The 24-year-old's wacky antics prove to be for nothing however, as Messi fires his free-kick high and wide over the Levante bar. 

Andrey Arshavin celebrates goal by standing on team-mate 

Andrey Arshavin's new goal celebration looks unlikely to catch on, as it involves standing two-footed on an injured team-mate. 

The Arsenal midfielder, who is currently on loan at Zenit St Petersburg, demonstrated the technique in Saturday's big game against CSKA Moscow.Zenit's Vladimir Bystrov opened the scoring with a diving header midway through the second half of the top-of-the-table clash.He injured himself in the process and fell to the floor while celebrating, but Arshavin was less sympathetic than his colleague might have expected him to be.Instead of helping, he deliberately stood on Bystrov's stomach. 

The key to Carroll's form: hair gel.

Slick

Liverpool defender Martin Kelly believes he knows the secret to Andy Carroll's recent return to goalscoring form - some new hair gel he's borrowed from team-mate Jordan Henderson. 

Just days after scoring a last-gasp winner for the Reds in a remarkable 3-2 win at Blackburn, Carroll was the Anfield hero again - this time with a similarly late strike to down local rivals Everton in a thrilling FA Cup semi-final at Wembley.But before Kopites get too carried away with their £35m man's resurgence, Kelly has provided some pretty straightforward reasoning on Carroll's form - revealing the long-haired Geordie has been partaking in some new product for his hair.

Crawley Town players burst into song after manager Steve Evans leaves club 

It is safe to say Steve Evans was not a manager loved by his players after members of his old team were so delighted he had left for Rotherham United they burst into glorious song, in a moment caught on video."We're singing a song cos the fat man's gone!"

Fulham buy 12 hens to help save £5,000 a year in catering costs 

Fulham has shelled out on 12 hens in order to cut the costs of providing eggs for its players.Martin Jol's squad apparently get through 90 eggs each week, and it is hoped that this egg-centric plan will drastically reduce catering costs by £5,000 a year.

Monday Madness!

Ipswich's Tractor Boys horse around for new kit launch on Suffolk farm!

They may be known as the Tractor Boys but Ipswich Town's players seemed to take the nickname a bit too literally at the launch of their new kit at a muddy farm in Suffolk. 

Brazillian midfielder attacks ref after being sent off!

Footballers are often close to going over the edge in a game that's full of passion but are normally stopped from doing so by team-mates or their own common sense. This mechanism for preventing things from getting out of control failed last week when Iranduba's Derlan lost all sense of rationality and attacked a referee during a league match in Brazil.

Neil Warnock takes Leeds squad on bonding trip to Flamingo Land!

Manager Neil Warnock thought of a novel way to lift the spirits of his Leeds United squad following a recent dip in form, by taking them on a trip to Flamingo Land. 

APOEL's Paulo Jorge gets two teeth knocked then pulls another out himself!

Brave APOEL Nicosia's run in the Champions League was ended by a rampant Real Madrid, but the men on the pitch gave everything for the cause. Centre back Paulo Jorge gave more than most in the clash at the Santiago Bernebeu as he left the pitch with three less teeth than he started the game with.

Motherwell FC bus gets stuck under bridge after match!

The Motherwell Football Club's team bus found itself wedged underneath a bridge as it took players home from today's Clydesdale Bank Premier League match.  Motherwell were driving back west from an away match against Hibernian when their coach driver steered the bus under a low bridge on New Street, Edinburgh. A spokesman from the club claimed that the incident, which occurred at 3:50pm on Sunday afternoon, was down to one of the staff claiming to have found 'a short cut' off the main route. Despite all the commotion he added the situation was only 'wee mishap.'

Monday Madness!

This way!

Fans of German fourth-tier football team Magdeburg decided some drastic action was needed if their bottom-placed club are to avoid relegation.Magdeburg fans This way: Magdeburg fans point the way to goal.The mis-firing side had not scored in their previous five games.So, for Sunday’s clash with Berliner AK ’07, supporters were handed huge arrows to show the players exactly where the goal was.

Cheeky!

Jose Mourinho may pick the team at Real Madrid but Iker Casillas has shown he's the one who picks his nose after a video appeared showing him wiping a bogey over the face of a young mascot.

A cheeky ballboy, who stepped onto the pitch during a Brazilian league match and denied the opposition a goal, would be advised to lay low for the time being after his outrageous stunt sparked an on-field storm.
We're sure ballboys across the world have often dreamt of bursting onto the scene and helping their team in their hour of need, but we doubt many have actually dared to do it.
However, one youngster wasn't so shy and decided to make a last-ditch clearance when his side faced conceding a certain goal.

The clash between Bradford City and Crawley Town was marred by a post-match brawl, which led to five players being shown a red card in the dressing rooms.

Monday Madness!

Buzz!

A Ryman Isthmian Football League Division One South match between Whyteleafe and Hythe Town had to be called off after the referee was stung by a bee in the 31st minute and collapsed. We've all heard about Muamba's incident and this is all just deja vu! Thankfully ref Ashley Slaughter is now recovering well after suffering an allergic reaction to the sting. But things looked rather more ominous during the game when the official collapsed after being pricked. After he failed to respond positively to treatment the game was called off with Hythe winning 1-0, which may have buzzed off a lot of their fans.

Messi is an amazing keeper!

Lionel Messi has already proved he is one of the greatest footballers that ever lived by entertaining every crowd going for the past few years, but now it seems the little Argentinian may also be a very good goalkeeper... yes, really.

"Boo hoo! I'm so tired!"

Manchester City fan John Millington, who featured in a viral video that appeared to show him crying, has denied blubbering like a baby when his team conceded a late goal to Swansea and says he was just 'very tired'.

Monday Madness!

Torres wins chance to train with Drogba!

Chelsea striker Fernando Torres was at the end of a joke at Didier Drogba's Foundation charity ball when the winner of a training session with the Ivorian offered to donate it to the Spanish striker.  

My foot hurts!

Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson experienced a night of horrors on and off the pitch - his team were beaten 3-2 by Athletic Bilbao, and an electronic substitutions board fell on his leg.

My head hurts!

It's astonishing when any player scores five goals in one game - but Lionel Messi's record-breaking Champions League haul was made even more impressive after it emerged he was suffering from a headache beforehand. 

Save the frogs!

Manchester United midfielder Park Ji-Sung has been asked to put his weight behind a campaign to protect frogs in South Korea. 

Footballer sues church as life with God costs him chance to be a Devil!

A former Portuguese Division Three player is suing the evangelical church which he claims cost him the chance to play for Manchester United. Arquimedes Nganga, 46, is seeking £10million damages from the Baptist Union as he claims that, had the church not turned him into a ‘fervent evangelist’ he would have been good enough to play for the Red Devils. The 46-year-old, who has accused the leaders of the Baptist Union of causing him ‘psychological harm’, said: ‘I could definitely have had a long career in the Premier League. ‘I see a lot of players today who I am not inferior to and perhaps better than. ‘Most midfielders are either defensive or attacking but I was both. I had something new.’ Manchester United have yet to comment. 

Torres doesn't even want to score!

Goal-shy striker Fernando Torres gave the clearest indication yet that he's severely lacking in confidence after it emerged he turned down the chance to take a penalty in Chelsea's 2-0 FA Cup win over Birmingham. In our first ever Monday Madness we saw Bury's Schumacher and Coke arguing and fighting over a penalty. This was the total opposite.

Monday Madness!

Hazardous Prank

Eden Hazard showed he has world-class skills as a prankster, as well as a footballer, when his trick on Nacer Chadli caused the Belgium national team's flight to be delayed.

Hazard's prank started afer taking his team-mate Chadli's Cartier watch from the basket at the airport metal detectors as the squad waited to board their flight home. He couldn't have hoped for a better outcome, as Chadli became irate when he discovered it was missing and insisted security staff emptied out bins and bags to search for it.

When that did not produce the watch, a number of the Belgium squad - including Fulham's Moussa Dembele - refused to board the plane unless they were allowed to review CCTV pictures to find out what had happened. Airport security rejected that request and the mood began to turn ugly, as the players thought one of the guards had taken the watch and the police were summoned.

At that point, a giggling Hazard decided it would be a good idea to defuse the situation by confessing.

The plane eventually took off for Brussels 30 minutes late, but Belgium manager Georges Leekens did not mind too much. 'This is proof that the atmosphere in the group is excellent. Nacer and Eden are childhood friends,' he said. Hazard's team-mates who struggled to make their connecting flights and the airport security staff apparently found the prank much less amusing.

Bungay Town v Bungay Town match preview

Bungay Town FC have launched a global search for people who share its name to play in a special match.

‘It will be a referee’s nightmare,’ said a spokesman for the Suffolk club.

The Black Dogs have been using several methods to find people with the surname, including visiting their local radio station, BBC Suffolk, and also propositioning people through Twitter. 'Are you a #Bungay & in the UK?,' a message on their Twitter account asked. 'Come & join us on Bank Holiday Monday 7th May for #BungayVBungay. 'We've got a game in which all players, ref, mascots, physio, linos, will all have the surname Bungay. Watch this space.'

A spokesman confirmed the Suffolk-based club has managed to get 25 Bungays so far.

Voodoo goes wrong

Gambia goalkeeper Musa Camara thought he could get one over on the opposition by sprinkling 'magic' white powder on his goal line but the hapless keeper still managed to make a dreadful error despite having the 'supernatural' aid. 

The substance has been confirmed as being ‘Gri Gri’, which is used in African voodoo to prevent bad luck. 

In this case it did the total opposite though, with Camara making a horrendous mistake that ultimately cost his team the win against Algeria in an Africa Cup of Nations qualifier.

Monday Madness!

Not much madness this week...

He's worse than Yakubu!

Flamengo striker Deivid added another howler to his catalogue of misses in his side’s narrow Guanabara Cup semi-final defeat to with Vasco da Gama. You know how much I hate Yakubu for his horror miss in the World Cup, but this guy is shocking.

The 32-year-old forward has built up something of an unenviable reputation for missing sitters, and it seems his curse in front of goal struck with a vengeance as he squandered an open goal from three-yards out.

The video on the left is the miss and the one on the right is a compilation his his worst misses.

Brazil crush Spain - with their new ad
Brazil have gone head to head with world champions Spain in launching their new kit manufacturers' adverts at the same time - with Brazil coming out on top. Nike's advert, launched on Monday, features Brazil - in yellow - against Brazil - in blue. The Adidas advert for Spain's new Euro 2012 second kit was launched 24 hours after Brazil's, and strikes a more sober tone. Their film has only been available 24 hours longer than the Spanish one, but has gathered over 1.8 million hits, compared to Spain's paltry
42,000.

Not so Incredible Hulk
Porto issued a complaint to UEFA about the behaviour of Manchester City supporters on Wednesday night – for the heinous act of suggesting that their striker Hulk did not have super powers. Chelsea are interested in signing the Brazilian striker. Porto have said they want £85m for him. I think it's a rumour.

Monday Madness!

Kadlec and Friedrich argue over Messi shirt! 

After Barcelona's 3-1 win over Bayer Leverkusen in the Last 16 of the Champions League. Michal Kadlec was keen to swap shirts with three time Ballon d'Or winner Lionel Messi but a row broke out after team-mate Manuel Friedrich claimed it for himself. 

The result: Kadlec won and got the souvenier. But...sporting director Rudi Voller felt that the eagerness to get the Messi momento did not portray a good image on the club. 

'I can guarantee that Kadlec and Friedrich will auction off their Messi shirts for a good cause. What the pair did was a bit over the top,' the former Germany forward told Die Bild. 

How to attack yourself (part 2)!

Valencia midfielder Ever Banega has undergone an operation on his injured ankle after accidentally running himself over with his own car. The Argentine international managed to suffer the injury on Sunday after leaving his car's handbrake off, stepping out of the vehicle and seeing it roll backwards over his ankle. This is just days after Eren Dersiyok attacked himself with a tootbrush. (That's why it's part 2!)

Passport Plonkers!

Manchester United’s Europa League adventure got off to the worst possible start after Danny Welbeck and Nani forgot to bring their passports for the flight to Amsterdam. The duo both left their travel documents at home, and were forced to hang around Manchester Airport check-in while a member of the United security team dashed back to retrieve the IDs. 

Aston Villa's new winger: revealed!

Aston Villa desperately need a winger to help keep out the opposition at and finally they have one - but this one has feathers. Gee the harris hawk has been called in to keep the Villa Park pitch in perfect condition after magpies were seen attacking the surface and digging holes in the ground. 

Talking of holes on the ground...

Harry Redknapp was full of excuses after Spurs side came away with a goalless draw in their FA Cup fifth round clash at League One side Stevenage. He claimed the pitch was too bumpy and not suitable to play on.

Monday Madness!

Redknapp's applies for England job! 

Twitter's community of football fans have been having their fun at the expense of Harry Redknapp - mocking up a joke application for the vacant England job that's gone viral. 

Clarke Carlisle for England?

The Burnley defender, on loan at Northampton Town, revealed his shock on Twitter after finding out he was a 500/1 long shot with bookmakers to replace Fabio Capello, who resigned from his position on Wednesday afternoon.

‘Ha Ha!! Apparently I'm 500/1 for the England job!!!!! Utterly ludicrous!!,’ said the 32-year-old on his social network page. 

  

The next Suárez?

A young Aston Villa mascot showed that kids really can be influenced by Premier League stars, by seemingly refusing to shake hands with a rival one day after Luis Suárez's high-profile snub of Patrice Evra. 

It was the cat's fault!

Sergio Busquets seemed to get a serious knee injury the same night a black cat rat across the Camp Nou. It happened at Anfield in Liverpool's stalemate with Tottenham!

Monday Madness!

Horror Penalty!

Jay Rodriguez blew his chance to score a hat-trick for Burnley against Nottingham Forest when he sliced a penalty kick painfully wide after slipping over at the crucial moment. Watch it here.


Amazing "Flying Back-Heel Bicycle Scorpion Kick Goal!"
The title says it all really. Erlan Mealla scored this goal in the Bolivian league for Nacional Potosi against...The Strongest! Watch it here.

His ticket being placed on.

Not-So-Super Mario!

Mario Balotelli is back in the news this week! This time he parked on a double yellow line and therefore got (another) parking ticket. Balotelli is notorious for getting parking fines and it was reported last year that he had notched up £10,000 worth of tickets, and had had his luxury Maserati impounded 27 times.


How to attack a Linesman!
Mexican striker Carlos Vela failed to live up to his potential at Arsenal but he is now proving to be a big hit in Spain - and by big hit I mean he is slamming into officials and wiping them out. Watch it here.

Neymar and co.

How to attack Neymar!
Brazilian star Neymar recently notched the 100th goal of his career on his 20th birthday, but instead of presenting him with a celebratory cake, his Santos buddies decided to turn him into one.


How to attack yourself! 
Swiss international Eren Derdiyok entered the hall of fame for the maddest injuries - a tootbrush related injury. The Bayer Leverkusen striker will be out for 3 weeks.

Monday Madness!

Worst acting ever:

Equatorial Guinea beat Senegal 2-1 in the African Cup of Nations - which is a huge shock. They were winning 1-0 until the 91st minute when Sengal equalized. (Equatorial Guinea got the historic winner in the 94th minute) Just before they equalized, look what Narcisse Amia Ekanga did to waste time. This is the worst acting I've ever seen. He goes down looking for the freekick. No freekick. So he just collapses and rolls about. Calls for the stretcher. Cold spray and all. He gets carried off on the stretcher. 10 seconds later he runs back. Watch it here.

This isn't the only time Ekanga has been acting. Watch it here.

Awesome warm-up:

Look at Craig Bellamy's little dance to warm up before he comes on in the City game. Watch it here.

Contendor for miss of the season:
Have a look at this terrible miss by Robbie Findley for Nottingham against Leicester. It takes some skill to miss from there! Watch it here.

Your team wins a penalty. Great! Now argue over who takes it. This is what Bury players Giles Coke and Steve Schumacher did. Watch it here.

How do you miss this?:

Okay, we've already seen 2 terrible dives and acting, but this is real. André Dias punches Mark van Bommel and the ref completely misses it! Watch it here.

Worst PR Stunt ever:

This is the worst PR stunt I've ever seen a football club do. German giants Bayern Münich claimed on their website that they had signed "a spectacular name" and would unveil him in a press conference that will be broadcast on their Facebook page at 1pm Time passed on and nothing happened. At 3pm the Bayern manager appeared and the "player" was a picture of their own profile picture and a Bayern shirt with their name on and the number 8. Apparently this was to show the importance of the fans.

Monday Madness!

Bubble Football!

A Norwegian man invented a new game: Bubble Football It's exactly like football but players wear a ball filled with air on their body. In this game fouls dont exist because as soon as you fall over, you bounce straight back up! So no injuries.

Joey Barton can't stand arguing with his own player on Football Manager 2012: "Just had my first argument with myself on FM12" and "FYI @footballmanager I am not born in Runcorn. I am not 5'9 (5'11) and I am not 11st (12st). If ur gonna do it properly..."

Under performing Juventus striker, Amuari, was put on eBay buy an angry fan. The bid for him reached £8 million. The offer included: delivery in 4 working days and free shipping. This was until eBay removed it off their site.

Former Celtic player, Nakamura, gave bus travellers in Japan a shock when he curled a ball in through a window. Watch it here.

Chelsea sign three 12 year olds from Luton for £1m. No joke.

Monday Madness!

On loan midfielder, Emmanuel Frimpong, delights Arsenal fans and nearly kills Rafael van der Vaart. Watch it here.

Paul Scholes, who just came out of retirement, urgently needed a pair of boots and decided to go to his local JJB Sports shop to buy a pair for £40.

Man City striker Balotelli randomly turned up at a local Manchester college and asked if he could use the toilet.

On a night when Arsenal legend, Thierry Henry, made a return, another got hit by a football after a Leeds player aimed for his head. Watch it here.

5 a side game: Chaddy Park 16-4 Hopwood Old Boys. Paul Scholes scored 12 goals and 1 own goal. However, his cameo appeareance was against the rules, and if Hopwood appeal, the score will be reversed.

City's unpredictable striker, Balotelli, challenged a Man Utd fan, in a bowling arcade, to a duel (of sorts). A punchball machine contest. Not-so-super Mario lost.

Beckham and Balotelli's meeting

Wiping nose or kissing badge?

After meeting Mario Balotelli at the City/United game, David Beckham used a City shirt to blow his nose. Or was it to kiss the badge? Either way, it'll cause controversy in Manchester. Something his Manchester City friend, Balotelli is famous for!